Thursday, February 14, 2008

My Valentine

“Here are the central truths of this chapter:
The only way we can trust such a wild Lover is to know that his heart is good.

We see God’s heart only when we look at the Larger story with God as its hero.

What we discover when we do is a jealous Lover who has been pursuing us from before time began.

And life is revealed to be the great Romance we have longed for it to be.”

“He rescued me because he delights in me.” Psalms 18:19b

Okay so I’ll be the first to admit sometimes I can be a little slow to catch onto things, but sooner or later I finally get it. Sounds a little strange... but last night I realized that I am happy. I was totally prepared to be bummed out this week because once again I didn’t have a valentine, but instead I’ve had one of the best weeks ever. I guess lately I had been so caught up in worrying about how people had hurt me that I didn’t even think about all the things I was thankful for. Since I turned all those negative feelings to God on Sunday, I’ve felt like a completely renewed person.

All it took was me playing in my first soccer game last night to realize that God greatly loves me and knows exactly what is best for me. I know it probably sounds silly that a soccer game made me realize that but it did. Getting involved in soccer has been something that I had wanted to do for years, but out of fear I never tried to get involved with a team. Even last night before the game I was nervous. What if I didn’t do good and made a complete idiot out of myself; would the people on my team hate me? It didn’t take long for me to get into the game and the support of my teammates felt so good that all my fears quickly vanished. I had the most fun that I can remember having in a long time. I can honestly say that this is something I may totally get addicted to!

So I was driving home after the game all dirty from sliding across the field three or four times and smelling like grass and sweat and I had the biggest grin on my face and I was just thanking God for where I’m at today. I’ve gone through a lot in the past couple of years and I was having a hard time letting go of everything and moving forward. I wanted to believe that God had my best interest in mind but I wasn’t willing to let go of the pain I had experienced. All these years I’ve been longing for amazing romance and I’ve had this wonderful God pursuing me, yet I’ve tended to look right past it. Well last night a light bulb went on and I was just amazed at everything that I had accomplished over the past few months and I knew that it was all of God. Tears of joy came to my eyes and for the first time I wept out of happiness instead of pain or regret. Thank you, God, for being a jealous lover and pursuing me, and giving me the choice to love you back. Thank you for making this Valentine day the most special one I’ve ever had. I love you!

(Okay quick update I'm on cloud nine..... A girl from my team asked me to play in a game with her tonight on another team she is on..... I'm having a great day!!!!!)

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