Process of Discipleship
As a Christian it is easy to work toward the goal of “saved with complete heaven assurance,” we surround ourselves with other Christians and don’t worry about the lost or working in outreach programs. This is a dangerous ground because “this is a stage, not the goal.” We began to ignore of forget “the struggles and growing pains of the tiny green blades down at one’s feet, and expect and exhort them to shape up and mature without delay.”
**I’m sadly aware that this has happened in my own life. It has taken me so long to learn to die to myself and in fact I still am struggling to let go. Yet it is easy for me to get frustrated with my siblings or other friends when their Christian walk is not producing much fruit. I’ve had years of on and off again Christianity and I know that I’m in no position to judge other people. Although I’ve has many struggles, I do believe that God is going to use me. I know that I’ve hated being judged by other Christians and so I’m praying that God will give me grace, mercy and a patient heart while I start to give my life to a life of service.
“One must reckon himself dead to the hard, cold, selfish “I” before the softening influence of the Holy Spirit can operate, qualifying the believer in the service of God. Many want to God’s work but are unable, because the ‘flesh’ in their lives.”
**As I read this chapter, I felt it speaking to me. I’ve wrestled with myself for way too long. I feel God is calling me to help him win others over, but he is just waiting for me to let go of my old life. My old life brought me many pains, regrets, and sorrows so I’m not sure while I still struggle to let go of it. It’s confusing to me why I still envy worldly people who seem to have a good time. I’ve tried that life for 28 years and never found happiness; I’m not sure why I still struggle with wanting that worldly life……. Am I going to be one the people that are unable to do God’s work because the ‘flesh’ in their lives or am I going to finally break down and die to myself? With each passing day I feel like I’m starting to let a little more go, but then of course I have major set backs. I’m praying the Holy Spirit will fill me with the desire to do what is right and holy.
“He drops the seed of dissatisfaction into our hearts: He begins to show us that there is far more to this Christian life than just being saved and active for Him. And it is necessary for Him to engineer our exchange from carnal kernel Christians to fruitful fellowship disciples.”
** I thank God for giving me this dissatisfaction and emptiness in my heart or I would never have the desire or will to grow closer to him. The closer I get to him, the more I feel I need him in every aspect of my life.**
But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones that have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast and bear fruit with perseverance. Luke 8:15
Therefore be patient brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. James 5:7