"For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him." Phil 2:13
I'm learning not to get frustrated when I have no clue what I'm suppose to be doing with my life because God is using my failures (yeah, there is lots of them) to bring me closer to him. My main purpose in life is to bring God glory and please him. So how do I a girl whose made so many mistakes bring someone so perfect glory? I'm realizing now that it is not a complex formula it is actually quite simple in theory. All I am suppose to do is make God first and obey him. Sounds simple enough, right? So why do I always make it so hard? Why am I constantly making the same mistakes over and over again? I guess it goes back to my stubborn self dependent attitude. Here are a few things that I've been trying to focus on that keep God first in my life and makes him happy which therefore helps me fulfill my purpose in life.
First, I've been really focusing on making my bible study a daily part in my life. I can't please or trust a God I know little about, so I've got to study his word. It is so easy to put it off or find other things to do to fill my time, but until I make it my first priority I know that I won't be happy or make him happy either. When I think about all the time I waste doing nothing in one day, the least I can do is to devote a half hour or hour to learning more about him. It is during this time, that I receive the knowledge that I apply to my own life and grow from. I always feel so much better and focused once I get through with my bible study and so it is definitely a positive influence on my life.
Second, I have really been trying to focus on my prayer life. Until the last few months, my prayers were very rote and definitely were lacking in passion. They were a one way conversation from me to God. I rushed through them because I knew I was suppose to be praying. Lately though, all that has changed; now I like to spend more time in prayer. Instead of me rambling about all my needs and wants to God, I am spending more time listening and meditating and asking him for answers and direction in my life. I have seen how powerful prayer is and I feel like I've gained a new friend. Lately anytime something is bothering me I try to go right to God and pray about it instead of milling over it myself and asking others what they think.
Third, I know that in order to please God I must be obedient to him. This has probably been my biggest struggle because I don't always like what he is telling me to do. For example it is not always easy being nice to someone I don't think deserves it, but I continue to try. Also I struggle with my self dependence and doing what I want to do instead of what I know he wants me to do.
Fourth, I know that it is important to keep Christians around me so that I can have others hold me accountable for my actions. It is crazy to think that we can hide our actions or intentions from God because we absolutely can not, however, sometimes I still make justifications to myself for my actions. When I have other Christians that believe the same things that I do around me, it is not so easy justifying my intentions when they know I'm in the wrong. They also encourage me to grow closer to God and put him first in my life. There is no replacement for strong Christians around me. I need them for my continual growth and encouragement.
Fifth, I know that it pleases God when I show his love towards others. I was involved working with a group of high school girls in Georgia and it forever changed my life. Although it may have looked as though I was helping them, they actually helped me in my growth with Christ. I tried to be completely honest with them about my life and God showed me that he could use this girl who has made so many mistakes to help young girls who are dealing with a lot of the same emotions and problems that I had in high school. He used this experience to teach me that I need to stop listening to the devil when he tells me I've done too much wrong for God to use me. God used my honesty to bring me close to the girls and this made me want to set a better example for them and brought me closer to Christ.